Makan Apa Harini? Nasi Dengan Ayam

Salam y'allss..

Dah tengah hari gini wajiblah cari idea nak lunch apa kan. Sesambil fikir nak makan apa meh baca lawak tak boleh blah yang aku amek dari fesbuk ntah sapa tadi. Siriyes lawak!

Kehkekeh. Haru biru dibuatnye!

Which job is right for you?

Meh usha job mana yang sesuai untuk u ols..

1) Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an Open window.

2) Then send 2 or 3 candidates in The room and close the door.

3) Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and then analyze the situation.

The Result & Solution

If they are counting the Bricks
Put them in the accounts Department

If they are recounting them
Put them in auditing

If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks
Put them in engineering

If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order
Put them in planning

If they are throwing the bricks at each other
Put them in operations

If they are sleeping
Put them in security

If they have broken the bricks into pieces
Put them in information Technology

If they are sitting idle
Put them in human resources

If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has been moved
Put them in sales

If they have already left for the day
Put them in marketing

If they are staring out of the Window
Put them on strategic Planning

And then last but not least.

If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been moved

Congratulate them and put them in Top Management

hehehehe

Question: How to know if they are Freelancer?

Lalalala Kerjalah!

An Egyptian Interview

Source: direct.com.my

Reporter: Hi
Egyptian: Hello

Reporter: Do u speak English
Egyptian: Berfect

Reporter: Do u mind if I interview u
Egyptian: No, I don't have a mind

Reporter: What's your name?
Egyptian: Taha

Reporter: Sex?
Taha: I love it

Reporter: oh no, I meant male or female?
Taha (yelling): what do u sink?

Reporter: it's just for the sake of the report. Never mind...male. ...
Taha: yas sure mail ..

Reporte r: How do u find life here in Egypt ?
Taha: Egybt..Very nice cantry..nice wezar..nice food..byramidz

Reporter : Oh well..beside the weather and the pyramids..what else do u like in ur country?
Taha: Byramids, nice wezar, nice food

Reporter: DO YOU WORK?
Taha: Yas yas..

Reporter: What do u think about the traffic problem in egypt ?
Taha : Very big broblem..very much cars..u see?..but za guvurment is trying to make it bettar..zey did za circle street and za mehwar street..and zey make all streets one way so if u go..u cant come back!!!

Reporter: What about the economic problems in Egypt ?
Taha: I do not undurstand what u say

Reporter: I mean..how do u deal with money problems in egypt ?
Taha : Egypt very rich cantry...we have alot of cotton..alot of water..and we have byramidz

Reporter: So do u make a lot of money?
Taha : No no.. it is not legal to make money..one frend I know make money at home..and he go to brizon..if u make money at home.. you will go to brizon

Reporter : let me rephrase..since Egypt is a rich country.. do u have a lot of money?
Taha: me? I ..Not a lot…..but I eat and drink Alhamdulelah?

Reporter: Then where does all the money go?
Taha: Guvurment

Reporter: And what does the government do with the money?
Taha : Zey Build circle street, mehwar street and make all streets one way

Reporter: well , Ok...Do u vote?
Taha: What duz zat mean?

Reporter: Do u choose your president
Taha: Mubarak?

Reporter: yes
Taha (nervously) : I didn't give my voice..But if I was. I will give him my voice

Reporter: Why him?
Taha : Because he was an airoplane in za war..he waz za leadar airoplane

Reporter: But there r no wars right now
Taha : But if we have war..u see?...we know we will have a very good airoplane in it

Reporter: what about the last 26 years?
Taha: I got marry..and have Ahmed an d Amira..and……….

Reporter: No, I meant what did Mubarak do for Egypt in the last 26 years
Taha: He build circle street, mehwar street and make all streets one way

Reporter: Thank you very much for ur time Mr. Taha
Taha: No broblem, only 10 bounds

Reporter: I never said i will pay u for this
Taha : ok ok..

Respeks-Group

Which job is right for you?

1) Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an Open window.

2) Then send 2 or 3 candidates in The room and close the door.

3) Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and then analyze the situation.

The Result & Solution

If they are counting the Bricks
Put them in the accounts Department

If they are recounting them
Put them in auditing

If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks
Put them in engineering

If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order
Put them in planning

If they are throwing the bricks at each other
Put them in operations

If they are sleeping
Put them in security

If they have broken the bricks into pieces
Put them in information Technology

If they are sitting idle
Put them in human resources

If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has been moved
Put them in sales

If they have already left for the day
Put them in marketing

If they are staring out of the Window
Put them on strategic Planning

And then last but not least.

If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been moved

Congratulate them and put them in Top Management

Sumber: [fomat_perak]

HAHAHA! Hampeh tol lawak nie.

Pukau di Stesen Minyak

Pemanduan tenang. Kelajuan 60 km/j sahaja. Meter minyak berada di tahap yang tidak memuaskan lalu berhenti untuk mengisi minyak. Sempat juga mengambil sebotol minuman Nestle yogurt Bliss perisa buah-buahan campuran. Bayar RM 20 untuk minyak dan RM 2 untuk minuman botol kecil pada abang kaunter.

Sumber: digital-photography-school.com

Melangkah dengan gagah perkasa ke pintu kereta. Start kereta dan Viva meluncur laju keluar dari stesen minyak berlogo kerang. Hati gembira. Minuman Bliss diteguk sedikit demi sedikit untuk menghilangkan dahaga di tekak.

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Jumpa Dr Rozmey depan mata!! ini kenyataan.bukan main-main. Moh cekidout :)

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MarilahBerBaikBaik (Team MBB) Punya Kerja

Kesian adik aku baru tau pasal kewujudan youtube lawak tahap cipan kena lenyek tayar lori ni. Aku dah pernah tengok masa kat UiTM dulu, sedara Zem yang tunjuk. That time masing-masing tengah tension siapkan projek BEL. Lepas tengok menda alah ni terus gelak macam kena sampuk. Siyes lawak!

Jom tengok balik youtube ni buat basah kan gusi. Hee. Kepada u ols yang belum pernah tengok maka WAJIB tengok tau.

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Kotak gosip MJ dah nyanyuk? Jom cekidout :)

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Keputusan SPM dah Keluar?

Selamat Hari Senin kak Salmah apam balik, abg Dol tokeh sayur dan u ols yang sedang saspen dengan tajuk entri aku yang tak masuk akal ini. Hee.

Kejap je dah hari Isnin padahal aku rasa macam baru sejekap tadi taip entri Isnin Datang Lagi. Cepat benor masa berlari pecut kan?

Haa. Idok payahlah nak saspen bagai yek. Tajuk tu propa je lah! Adik aku pung tengah ada 1 lagi paper belum lepas. Dah panas bontot je minah tu nak jadi budak-dah-habis sekolah.

Ni haaa nak bagi u ols sengih sengih kambing sikit di hari Isnin yang 'sungguh bersemangat'. Kesahnyaaaa..ada satu perbualan antara anak dan ayah setelah keputusan SPM diumumkan tahun sudah:

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Jom join GIVEAWAY SEPARUH JIWANG dari belog Weeda :)

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Isnin Datang Lagi

Selamat pagi Isnin u ols :)) Monyok nau muka tu, kasi senyum sikit laaa. Esok cuti kan? kan?

Aloloh comel dak panda ni posing gitu. Tengok, u ols buat muka ketat sampai menakutkan makhluk Allah sekor ni. Kesian beliau :p Oleh kerana itu, meh baca 20 pepatah hampeh untuk gelak sikit-sikit buat modal ambik mood pagi senin yang berbahagia ini. Cekidout:

20 Funny Monday Morning One-liners To Cheer Up You and Your Colleagues

1. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

2. A day without sunshine is like..., night.

3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

4. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

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Jom join GIVEAWAY SEPARUH JIWANG dari belog Weeda :)

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Laptop Cap Apple

Selamat berhujung minggu u ols :)

Nak share dengan u ols satu cerita tentang laptop. Mesti ramai yang admire gila nak pakai laptop dengan brand Apple ni kan. Aku pun berangan gak kalau dapat rembat seketul dua tapi harganya mak aih mahal bebenor!

Tapi kan sekarang u ols boleh dapatkan laptop cap Apple tanpa mengeluarkan belanja besar. Percaya tak? Meh aku nak tunjukkan bukti kukuh mengenai penemuan baru ini. Memang sempoi lahhh:

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Cekidout keputusan temuduga KPLI di blog Hernee Nazir. Jom baca :)

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Gambar untuk Sengih-sengih Kerang Busuk

Pesanan penaja macam dalam era.fm:

"Entri ini bukan bertujuan untuk menghina sesiapa. Jom sengih-sengih dengan cara yang ringan!"

“If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.” -- Nelson Mandela

English aku pun tunggang terbalik macam kapal karam jugak. Hee.

Kot ye Pun Sayang Takkan Sampai Gini Bang..

Dua hari update via SE je, busy lah pulak minggu ni. Tapi menjengah ke belog u ols is a must! Even tak tinggal jejak tapi dapat la baca apa yang patut serta gossip-gossip terhangat. Hee.

Oh, ye! Hari ini dimulakan dengan entri ringan-ringan. Teringat pada satu geng ni yang tersangat menyayangi 'mama' nya lantas post sesuatu yang buat aku geli ketiak hati membacanya. Cekidout:

BF : Pagi2 udah mau berak...huhuhu..ngah berak pon ley windu dye..
GF : Eee.. Selekeh tau papa ni..

Halah-halah..romantiknya habislah katanya. Ekceli aku kenal mamat ni, dia baru je temui cinta baru. Kira tengah mabuk cintun lagilah. Itu pasal sampai ke bilik termenung pun dok mengelamun. Power betul penangan cinta ni ek..

Aku dapat idea nak buat entri ni lepas usha belog Aujinz. Apa yang dia sampaikan sebenarnya wujud di alam realiti woh! Kes lawak tapi benar gitu.

Nak instant cash? the rules:

Kalau u ols lah jadi si GF tu agak-agak apa nak komen? Sila tinggalkan jawapan kelakar tahap langit ke tujuh anda di kotak komen. Nak bagi hadiah segera ni. Haa. Siapa cepat dia dapat!

Psst..lepas entri ni sila alert dengan ikon hijau yang aku cedok dari inetgiant.com ni. Kalau nampak dalam entri itu maknanya ada instant $$$ menanti anda hanya dengan tinggalkan komen terpantas. Good luck!

Pemilihan komen adalah di atas budi bicara aku sendiri.

<< NANG kalau suka! Tqvm :)

7 Things You Really Don't Need To Take A Photo Of

Cik Alexa bagi cadangan kat aku untuk hendap site ni. Ouh! Its Awesome. Yang tak awesome nya ialah cubaan untuk translate tajuk ke Bahasa Melayu ada sikit kegagalan.

7 Things You Really Don't Need To Take A Photo Of

Kepala hotak aku habaq:
7 Perkara Yang Tak Perlu Untuk Di Ambil Gambar?

Google translate punya kerja:
7 Hal yang Benar-benar Tidak Perlu Untuk Take A Photo Dari?

Err..yang mana satu lagi betul gamaknya? Kesimpulan yang aku boleh buat jangan percaya pada Google translate 100% kerana kepala hotak sendiri mungkin lagi logik. (Walaupun nampak macam tak betul je ayat yang aku translate tu) Jadi sekarang mari layan comic strip yang macam best dari theoatmeal.com ni. Serius best!

Sumber : theoatmeal.com

Dalam tujuh yang disenaraikan 6 tu memang masuk akal tapi yang no 3 which is scenery aku tak faham kenapa dikatakan tak patut ambil gambar. Ada sesapa boleh explain? Hee. Dan yang pasti macam terkena pada batang hidung sendiri bila baca dialog komik ni. Semua aku pernah buat!

Pedas woh! Bak Vanilla Coke sebotol.


<< NANG kalau suka! Tqvm :)

Lembu Di Larang Masuk

Godeh-godeh album gambau geng kat fesbuk terjumpa satu penemuan yang buat aku tergelak besau. Serius gelak besar punyaaa...

Secara logiknya memang papan tanda ni tiada apa-apa yang mencurigakan. Tapi bila difikir-fikirkan apakah motif papan tanda yang ditepek dengan muka lembu tak bersalah itu di pacak di situ? Err... faham tak apa yang aku cuba nak sampaikan sekarang?

Aku dok imagine ada 2,3 ekor lembu tengah berdiri depan signboard tengah garu-garu kepala dan toleh kat geng sebelah sambil berkata: " Aiseh, kita tak boleh masuk la! Macam mana ni?????"

Ok, tak kelakar.

Kihkihkih. Tapi aku tak tahan nak sambung gelak.

Terima kasih sudi komen. Singgah selalu sebab ada sesuatu untuk pengomen terbanyak setiap bulan.

Peringkat Hidup Seorang Perempuan Barat

Entri ringan-ringan sebelum tidur. Harini sedikit sibuk sampai tak sempat update dan belogwalking. Maaf ye! Of course ada story morie bakal menyusul.

What is the difference between girls aged:
8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68?

At 8 - You take her to bed and tell her a story.

*
*

At 18 - You tell her a story and take her to bed.
At 28 - You don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed.

*
*

At 38 - She tells you a story and takes you to bed.
At 48 - You tell her a story to avoid going to bed.

*
*

At 58 - You stay in bed to avoid her story.


At 68 - If you take her to bed, that'll be a story!!

AMARAN: Entri ini adalah hiburan semata-mata. Budaya orang barat seperti ini tidak sesuai untuk diikuti.

Baca amaran merah menyala tu. I mean it.

Terima kasih sudi komen. Singgah selalu sebab ada sesuatu untuk pengomen terbanyak setiap bulan.

Kisah Brother Love di Xfresh Radio

Suatu ketika di konti Xfresh.fm:

Watak
Nurul (makwe) N
brother love (penyelesai masalah) BL
Sham (pakwe)(bkn nama sebenar) S

BL : Assalamualaikum Nurul , brother love dengar Nurul ada masalah dgn bf Nurul yek..Masalah ape yg sebenarnye yek?

N : Macam ni bang, Nurul ada Bf tapi lately dia asek nak mengelak dari Nurul.
kua x mau ,call x mau..then kalo call asek marah2..nurul xtau apa salah nurul..

BL : Ok Nurul, brother love try call bf nurul k..

Tuuuttt TUuuutt....

S : Hello, nak cakap dengan sape?

BL : Hello, ni brother love dari XFM..Gf awk ada sms sy bgtau awk skrg makin
menjauhkan diri dari dia, call x mau , kua x mau..apa masalah sebenarnye yek?

S : Ohh..dia ada sms abg? ni kua radio la ni?

BL : Aah, dia ada sms sy la cerita masalah dia..apa masalah sebenarnye yek?

S : Ohh..bukan bang..takde ape masalah sebenarnya..mcm biasa laa..kitorang slalu kua tgk wayang, makan2..lama2 jd bosan la bang..itu je..sy takde masalah ape sebenarnye.

BL : oohh..itu saje..ok2..brother harap selesai la masalah korang ni elok2 yek..korang pn muda lagi..so brother akan sambungkan talian awk dgn dia so awk bleh bg kata2 utk pujuk dia..ok.?

S : ok bang...

Tuuuutt..TUuutt..

BL : Ok..skrg sudah on air

S : Ok..kepada shira..abg mintak maaf byk2 kalo abg ada buat silap

N : Haaaa!!! siapa shira? ni nurul..

S : Ehh..!! ni siapa? shira ke nurul???

N : ni Nurul bang..sape shira??

S : .......TUUUUTTuuuttttt (talian di putuskan..)

N : Siapa nurul bang..(teresak menangis...sobs..sobsss)

BL : Sabar nurul..jangan nangis yer...Sabar..Skrg nurul da tau dia main kayu tiga..so nurul cari kayu lain skrg..jgn tunggu dia lagi..

N : SOObss..Sobs..( menangis..) sape la nak kat Nurul bang..Nurul gemuk.. (nangis lagi..)

BL : ramai lagi nak kt nurul kt luar sana...bape berat Nurul..?

N : berat nurul 79kg bang..sape nak nurul bang..

BL : 79kg tu kira slim lagi tu...dah2 nurul jgn nangis k..

N : sob..sobsss...k..bye...

Sumber: fomat_perak@yahoogroups.com

Sumber: javlynabill.blogspot.com

Kan dah kantoi. Kihkihkih.

Terima kasih sudi komen. Singgah selalu sebab ada sesuatu untuk pengomen terbanyak.